Unvarnished Truth
by DianeB
Summary: Hahn/Torres. Set the night after the S5 episode, "Rise Up." Erica and Callie try to come to terms with each other, in the hopes their relationship can be salvaged. BIG GIANT WARNING: Greysmut. Femslash. Final chapter is NOT for the little ones.
1. Hello

Title: Unvarnished Truth – Chapter 1  
Author: DianeB  
Rating: M (for language)  
Pairing: Hahn/Torres

Summary: Set several hours after the S5 episode, "Rise Up," Erica and Callie try to come to terms with each other, in the hopes their relationship can be salvaged.

Author's Note: Even though it won't happen on the show, I wanted to see if Callie and Erica could work it out, plus **I just needed to get some things said**, ya know? This story provides both women's points of view, but it favors Erica because _I_ favorErica.

Thanks to my Mighty Editor Goddess, Brenda S., and to Jules 68, who always provides an honest, objective opinion. Thanks to Cabenson for the "Kool-aid" crack. Written in January, 2008. This is my _twelfth Grey's Anatomy _story.

Disclaimer: I own nothing of _Grey's Anatomy_, because if I did, Brooke Smith would still be playing Erica Hahn, and she and Callie would still be together. My timelines could differ from yours and could differ yet again from the show's screwy ones. Caution, this is femslash (lite) and there are some bad words and taking of the Lord's name in vain. Do not read it if these things bother you.

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As if the twenty-first time were the charm, Callie hit speed dial again and waited as the phone rang and rang, this time not even going to voicemail, which wasn't surprising, since she'd already filled Erica's voicemailbox over the past two hours with twenty similar messages:

_Erica, please call me. I just want to be sure you got home all right. I know how upset you were – and I'm not talkin' about what I said about what Izzie did. I know you're a grown woman, and I know you'll take care behind the wheel, but I just need to hear your voice._

Callie knew it was lame, a thinly-veiled plea to get Erica to at least call her back, so that maybe, maybe she could begin to repair the gaping wound that had become their relationship.

**oOo oOo oOo**

Hindsight being twenty-twenty, Callie's didn't wait long to hand down its glasses of wisdom (pun and all). In the minutes Callie stood watching Erica storm to her car and drive away, she could see Erica's side with stunning clarity.

How could she have imagined Erica would have any reason to buy into the whole "if you weren't there, you shouldn't judge" argument? From Erica's point of view, with her patient hanging onto his life by a thread (having missed out three years ago on the heart Izzie stole for Denny), the entire incident _was _Izzie Stevens' fault, and the woman _should_ be reported to UNOS.

But the worst of it wasn't that mess, though that was bad enough. No, the worst of it was Erica's sharp words regarding the two of them:

_No, you! I don't even know you!_

Again and again in her head, Callie replayed her spiteful comeback when Erica told her she couldn't _kind of_ be a lesbian. Even as it left her lips, she knew it was only verbal warfare, denying for the sake of denying, simply because Erica said she couldn't. It was a survival tactic as dark as her hair, but at the time wild horses couldn't have stopped her from saying it.

Now, cursing the hindsight that would give her no respite, Callie could see that everything she had done with regard to Erica was a sham, and it made her sick inside.

No woman who claimed to love another woman would ever seek out a man for sexual instructions on _how_ to love that woman. What a load of crap! _She_, Callie, was a woman, and she knew what pleased her in bed, so why wouldn't similar things also please Erica? What possessed her to think she needed Sloan's advice on the matter? It was perfectly ridiculous, is what it was. No wonder Erica said she didn't know Callie. _Callie_ didn't know Callie, and it never once occurred to her the true reasons why she might have run to Sloan instead of asking the woman right in front of her.

Callie punched the speed dial again, determined to spend the entire night doing this if she had to. She _had _to talk to Erica.

**oOo oOo oOo**

It took every bit of Erica's discipline as a surgeon to keep walking towards her car, though the anger helped. Thank God her keys were wrapped in her fist – so tightly she could feel them cutting into her palm – because she'd have been unable to deal if her keys were gone as they had been that night so long ago at almost the very same spot…

No. No. No. She would not allow herself to remember that time. It was history. Over. The past. Though she half-hoped Callie would come after her, Erica knew she wouldn't. Ha, sweet irony. She just got done claiming she didn't know Callie at all.

Still, the fact remained that she'd been led down the garden path by Callie _and _the hospital, and the worst of it was, she'd _allowed herself _to be. She'd gleefully drunk the Seattle Grace Kool-aid, and only just now understood why the damn place was number twelve.

Her true sexual identity having risen like the dawn over Marblehead, she'd come hurtling out to Callie…and then watched devastated as the woman had literally run from the knowledge.

She'd seen Izzie Stevens fall apart during Michael's procedure, then rally and save the day, only to learn it was Stevens to blame in the first place.

She'd been shut down by Richard Webber regarding Stevens's illegal actions as thoroughly as if she'd never spoken.

She'd listened with barely a peep to Callie's outrageous explanation of why she'd slept with Sloan, including that nonsense about her being a "whole forest girl." That wasn't an explanation at all, so much as a chickenshit way to tell Erica that while Callie liked Erica and would love to continue sleeping with her, she really didn't like women that way and would be going back to penis once they were through. But she wouldn't cheat on Erica. Any more.

Jesus H. Christ on a raft. It'd be hysterical, the stuff of soaps, if it weren't so damned _pathetic_.

With her thoughts thusly jumbled, Erica dropped her keys in her attempt to open the car door, and as the keys jangled to the ground, her cell phone rang. Bending to retrieve the keys, she pulled the phone from her coat pocket, flipped it open, and glanced at the screen.

Callie.

Resisting the urge to look back, Erica snapped the phone shut as tears blurred her vision, giving her a moment's concern that she wouldn't be able to see clearly enough to drive. Finally gaining entry into the car, after another frustrating fumble with her keys, she rummaged in the glove compartment and found an old napkin, with which she dried her eyes sufficiently enough to be able to see and then balled the napkin into her still-bleeding palm.

Her phone rang twice more before she left the lot.

**oOo oOo oOo**

Callie found herself wandering the basement of Seattle Grace, unable to stop moving, but unable to leave the hospital. She wondered if it was because her new place already held memories of her and Erica being together, or if it was simply a desire to go back in time, when things were less complicated.

When it was just work. Just the satisfaction of smashing and setting bones to a hard rock beat, without cause for getting the heart involved at all.

But, no, she had to go and not only get her heart involved, but get it involved with a heart doctor, a female one at that. Oh, the irony. At least with George she could say she had caught him on the rebound of his grief over his father's death, but there was no easy excuse for the way it had gone with Erica.

If it weren't so pathetic, it'd be stand-up funny.

She pressed speed dial again.

**oOo oOo oOo**

At home, Erica spent most of the next two hours under a blanket on her couch, drinking wine and rehashing what was now her final day at Seattle Grace, trying without much success to come up with a way to make sense of what had happened. Oh, she was clear enough about her patient and what Stevens did, but the part that concerned Callie was harder to comprehend.

It didn't help when her cell rang yet one more time. Against her will, her heart had been keeping track of the number of times it had rung so far. This would bring it to twenty-one. Knowing her inbox would hold only twenty messages, Erica wondered if Callie would let it ring this time or just give up.

Callie chose the former, and after the phone rang fifteen times, Erica began to wonder if this could serve as an experiment, because she'd never really learned just how many times the phone would ring once the voicemail box was full.

It could have been the wine – it probably _was_ the wine, since it was the same kind she had been drinking with Callie the last night they had spent together – but after the twenty-sixth ring, Erica picked the phone from her lap, flipped it open, said hello, and waited.

End Chapter 1


	2. Please Hurry

Title: Unvarnished Truth – Chapter 2  
Author: DianeB  
Pairing: Hahn/Torres  
Rating: M (for language)

Please see Chapter 1 for Summary, Author's Notes, and Disclaimer.

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**

The line was open, because Erica could hear ambient noise that sounded too much like the hospital, but it was a moment before Callie ventured to speak.

"Erica?"

"Yes, Callie."

It was evident by Callie's sharp intake of breath that she was surprised Erica had actually answered the phone, but Erica wasn't about to help her out by inviting conversation. Neither was she going to hang up.

"Ohmygod, I didn't think you'd answer. I-I…did you get my message?"

"Yes, all twenty of them. I'm home."

"Good. I-I was worried. You know, because of what I said…" Callie's voice trailed off, clearly hoping Erica would take up the slack.

But Erica was determined not to indulge Callie, to make Callie do all the talking. Yet as the line remained silent but for background noise and the sound of Callie's soft breathing, Erica succumbed, venting what she'd been stewing over since arriving home.

"Callie, listen, I'm a big girl. I _can_ drive, even when my lover of all of two weeks sides with the hospital screw-up over me and _then_ claims that fucking women is something she can do on the side, you know, like a hobby, while keeping dick in her back pocket, for when the girl thing finally wears off.

"Christ, Callie, give me a break, would you? I get that you may not be gay, but what I _don't_ get is why you would go to Sloan for lessons on how to sleep with me! Do you think I can't talk, can't tell you what I'd like? I may not have experience with women, but I think I'm smart enough to figure it out, being as I _am _a woman and all." Erica had really not intended for it to come out quite so harshly, but the wine loosened her tongue and the hurt was far too fresh.

The line remained silent for so long that Erica thought Callie had hung up. But then Callie spoke, in a voice barely above a whisper. "Huh…uh, yeah, I deserved all that. But you know why I went to Sloan? I went to him because-because I was scared."

This feeble response did nothing to cool Erica's anger. Shoving the blanket to the floor, she stood and began to pace the room. "Scared? Did you say 'scared?' Oh my God, Callie, I think that was the first honest thing you've said to me since we started. Good for you, then, you went to Sloan because you were scared. SCARED OF WHAT? ME?"

Erica could _hear_ Callie shrinking back from the phone. "Please stop yelling. Have you been drinking?"

"Oh, you have got _some_ nerve, Calliope Torres! You're damn _right_ I've been drinking, and not nearly enough! And you don't get to answer my question with a question. Are you scared of me?" Erica was determined to get Callie's answer, but she wasn't sure why it had become so important.

"No, _no_. I'm not scared of you. I'm-I'm scared…"

Erica snorted at Callie's hesitation. "C'mon, Cal, spit it out."

"Wait. You act like you already know."

And here was the rub. Of course she knew. "_Of course_ I know! You think I don't know you? I know you better than you know yourself." Now she was on a roll, and the wine only encouraged her to continue, cheering her on from the half-empty glass that sat staining her coffee table. "You're scared someone's going to think you're a lesbian. And by 'someone,' I mean Mar—"

Callie cut her off, loudly. "You're right, Erica, okay? You're RIGHT!"

This time, Callie's outburst _did_ take the wind out of her anger. "Whoa, wait. I'm _right_?"

"Yes, yes. About everything, okay?" And now it was Callie's turn. "You're right about why I didn't just ask you about the sex instead of running to Sloan. You're right about wanting to keep my options open. God, Erica, you're right about Izzie, too, but we have to save Izzie for later, please.

"When you kissed me in the elevator, I freaked. I mean, suddenly you were full up inside my head, just like that. I swear I've never _ever_ felt about anyone the way I felt about you after you did that. You rocked my world, and I wanted to do something about it, but I didn't know what. C'mon, no woman ever kissed me before! I couldn't get you out of my head, out of my whole _body_, and it just kept getting worse.

"Remember being in that trauma room, getting Andrew out of the cement? Oh. My. God. I could barely breathe, you were so close! And Mark, God, Mark might be a pig, but he's not blind. He saw it, saw the way I was acting around you. Hell, _he_ was the one who encouraged me to kiss you that night in front of the hospital.

"Please, Erica, I was an idiot to go to Mark, but like I said, I was scared. But not of being a lesbian, because I'm just _not _a lesbian, okay? I was scared of not being good enough for you in bed. God, that sounds stupid, I know, but, seriously, I just didn't have anything to compare it to. I thought I was supposed to automatically _know_, but I didn't, and the only thing I could think to do was ask Mark, because he's my _friend _and he already knew how I was feeling about you. I didn't want you to think I was dumb or naive, but now I know the only dumb thing was going to Mark in the first place.

"I-I just feel like the world's spinning too fast, you know? You have it all figured out, you know exactly who you are, but I don't. When you told me this morning I was your glasses, I wanted to scream at you that you were wrong. How could I possibly be the person who makes you realize you're gay? I can't be that person!" Callie halted abruptly and took a ragged breath. As the silence dragged out, Callie spoke again, clearly worried. "Please say something."

Erica, standing in the middle of her living room staring at the phone, could barely think of words themselves, much less how to actually speak them. Here was Callie, who a mere two hours earlier, stood solidly on the opposing side of nearly everything she had just said. The turnaround was astounding. What on earth could have happened in the space of a few hours that could have changed her so completely? Bringing the phone back to her ear, she asked the obvious. "Callie, are you _hearing_ yourself? I've been agonizing for hours about how to even get _started _working this out between us, and here you are, making it almost too easy. Why? What's caused your sudden change of heart?"

After another small space of silence, Callie said simply, "You."

Every word but one abandoned Erica, and even that one had to be squeezed out of lungs suddenly void of air. "Me?"

"Yes, you." A deep sigh. "Erica, I-I…oh God…_I love you_. And…and this isn't like a crush or being curious about women, this is about you, about loving _you_. If you want to talk about being gay or not being gay, okay, we can talk about it. But in the meantime, you gotta understand I'm with you for the long haul.

"But wait, wait. I know I can't just say 'I love you' and think everything'll be all right between us. I know we have a lot to talk about, stuff to work out, but please, Erica, please, we can't let this wreck what we have. Please don't leave me over this. I-I may die if you leave me."

While Callie's flair for the dramatic was worthy of Broadway, the drama did not diminish her heartfelt admission. If anything, it gave more weight to her words. It was clear that "comprehending Callie" was going to be tough, and for a moment, Erica was unsure how to proceed, even filled as she was with newfound hope for their future together.

Meanwhile, Callie continued with her drama. "Erica? Erica? You still there? Listen, I'm sorry I just blurted it out like that. I mean, I know I can't just say it like that and expect everything to be fine. I know that. I know— " Callie's voice had taken on an edge of hysteria, and before she could descend into full-blown panic, Erica spoke up.

"Callie, I'm still here, and stop apologizing. You don't know how badly I want to believe you when you say you love me, and that you made a mistake going to Sloan, but it's hard for me. You walked out on me this morning, and that hurt. You took Stevens's side over mine, and _that_ hurt. You're complicated, I'm complicated, this _whole thing_ is complicated, and if you think realizing I'm gay means I've got it 'all figured out,' you're crazier than I thought. You've given me so much to think abou—"

"Right," Callie interrupted. "I understand. You need time to process, and I've been such a shit, I'd understand if you decided it wasn't worth it. That _I_ wasn't worth it, that I—"

Erica returned the interruption. "Callie, _Callie_, calm down, and for heaven's sake, would you cut the "poor me" drivel and just let me say something?"

Callie was immediately contrite. "Sorry. Go ahead."

"Oh, Callie," Erica chuckled softly.

"What? What's funny?"

"Nothing. You are. Listen, here's the thing. I owe you an apology, too. I'm sorry I yelled at you tonight, sorry I accused you of not being 'lesbian enough.' That was unfair, and I only said it because I was upset. I shouldn't've left you there, but I was just so _mad_. So I'm sorry for that, I really am.

"The thing with Stevens, well, I'm glad to hear you think I'm right about that, but I've been thinking about it, too, about what Richard said, and about my patient. I haven't decided yet whether or not I'm going to report her, but now that I've had time to get over myself about it, I suspect Richard may be right – that I just need to let it go.

"Stevens actually helped Michael today, which _does_ count for something, much as I hate to admit it. But now at least Mike's been given the time he needs to wait for a heart, so it's probably healthier all the way around for me to drop it. Besides, it's easy to see Izzie's suffering over something – possibly more than any of us even realize – so I guess that's punishment enough for her.

"But, Callie, there are a couple things I need to say. First, I'm a lesbian. I am. No two ways about it. And I'm not ashamed of it. In fact, so many things from my past have fallen into place because of this new knowledge, I'm surprised I've lived this long without knowing. My life makes sense to me now, as strange as that sounds, because it really didn't _not_ make sense before. For lack of a better explanation, I'm comfortable in my own skin now. And I have _you_ to thank for it, Callie. It's not something you should _ever_ feel bad about. You did a great thing for me."

Callie was silent for a moment, but Erica could sense a paradigm shift. "Wow. I-I…you are _amazing_, Doctor Hahn, you know that? And, seriously? I can accept that I did 'a great thing' for you, but you gotta understand that for me…for me…I'm sticking with "whole forest girl," because I can't think of anything better that would describe me, just the way you say 'lesbian' is the best way to describe you. Right now I'm seeing the leaves, okay? I mean, I could see leaves for the rest of my life, in fact, _I want to_,but for now I'm still whole forest."

Erica decided she could concede this point, though it seemed outrageous from her new point of view that after all that had happened, Callie would still deny she was gay. But Erica understood this was _her_ point of view, _not_ Callie's, and she would have to allow for it or they would never heal. Filing it mentally under "comprehending Callie," she said simply, "Fair enough, Cal."

"Okay, so what's the other thing?"

Trust Callie to keep her on point. "There's no way I can stay at Seattle Grace, you understand that, don't you?"

"Yeah, I kinda figured that. So…where you gonna go?"

Erica suspected this question held more weight than Callie's casual tone implied, and it deserved a sincere answer. "I haven't decided yet."

"What-what about us?"

And here, Erica knew, was the question Callie had wanted to ask from the start. It was time for the unvarnished truth. "Callie, my darling, I want 'us' more than anything in the world."

Callie's relief was audible. "So that means you'll be staying in Seattle?"

"For the immediate future, yes. I'm fairly certain Mercy West will take me back for the time being, but I'll probably look for more permanent employment outside Seattle."

With the sharper edges of their conversation honed down, Erica wondered if it wasn't time to say goodbye; to begin again tomorrow. She was exhausted and pretty sure Callie was, too. It would be wrong to invite Callie over, even though that very thought crossed her mind.

With her thoughts thusly conflicted, Erica almost missed it when Callie asked if she could come over. Caught up short, Erica voiced doubt. "Callie, I don't know…"

"C'mon, I'm tired of talking on the phone. I want to _see _you, okay? Just look at you, see you there, to know you're still in my life, is all. Would that be all right? I promise, no touching. Please say it's okay."

Knowing they'd tried unsuccessfully once before to make this "no-touching" promise – and that was when things had been going well between them – Erica had a sense that _wrong _might not quite cover what was dangerous about Callie coming over.

But the unvarnished truth was – even after everything that had been said (and had yet to be said) – Erica wanted to see Callie just as much as Callie wanted to see her. Two hours of thinking they were through had been two hours too long.

If touching happened to occur, well, then it occurred.

"Erica?"

"You know this is probably a bad idea."

"Yes, a _very _bad idea."

"Please hurry."

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End Chapter 2

**oOo oOo oOo**

_Rise up, my love and come away,  
The rain is over and gone.  
You are the fruit of my darkest day,  
And I am your rose of Sharon._

-- From the song, "Rose of Sharon," as sung by Joan Baez


	3. Bittersweet Love

Title: Unvarnished Truth – Chapter 3  
Author: DianeB  
Pairing: Hahn/Torres  
Rating: M (for language)

Please see Chapter 1 for Summary, Author's Notes, and Disclaimer.

Special Chapter 3 Disclaimer: Admittedly, this chapter is perhaps too mushy for the Hahn character _as we knew her_. We never really saw much of Erica's softer side, nor did we learn if her awakening as a lesbian might've immediately affected her outlook (though based on personal experience, I must believe it did). Therefore, I ask your indulgence with this chapter. The pov jumps around, but it's mostly Erica's. I ask your indulgence with that, as well.

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Callie's interpretation of Erica's "please hurry" did not please the city cop, who clocked her, he said, at 20 miles over the posted limit. Callie didn't bother to argue or even to bat her eyes, since she knew perfectly well she had been going too fast (though she had no idea what the posted limit actually was). Any time spent with excuses would only delay her further. Instead Callie humbly admitted her guilt, apologized, accepted the ticket, and pulled away at a much slower rate of speed, knowing Officer Friendly still had his eye on her.

Arriving safely and without further vehicular incident at Erica's front door, Callie experienced a moment of uncertainty. In an effort to ward off the evil spirits of doubt, she placed the ticket between her teeth, struck a pose, and this time _did _bat her eyes at the peephole. After a second she heard through the door, "Callie, what the hell—?"

Erica opened the door and eyed Callie suspiciously, her arms crossed and brows furrowed in mock perplexity. Callie wiggled her lips, causing the ticket also to wiggle.

Erica reached out and snatched the ticket as Callie walked past her into the apartment, kicking off her shoes on the way. "What's this?" Erica asked, looking at the ticket.

"My speeding ticket," Callie said, turning to look at Erica. "You told me to 'please hurry,' so I did. But the cop didn't care for it so much."

Erica continued to study the ticket, and now her perplexity was authentic. "How fast were you going?"

"I don't know. Pretty fast. Why? Is it a fortune?"

Erica looked up at Callie, shaking her head and holding the ticket out to her. "Not hardly. This ticket is for twenty dollars. Who gets a twenty-dollar speeding ticket?"

"What?" Callie grabbed it and took her first hard look. "Wow! And here I thought he was all Officer Ordinance. Mmm…" Callie raised her head to stare vacantly at the opposite wall. "Even without trying, I still got it…"

Erica huffed in amusement. "Sweetheart, are you _kidding_ me? You could be dead for weeks and still have it."

Callie shifted her eyes to Erica, sharpened her focus and lowered her voice. The air thickened with longing. "You…are _so_ beautiful."

Caught by Callie's torrid look, Erica felt exposed and vulnerable, but the feelings weren't negative or even alarming, just genuine. She hadn't realized until this moment how much in love she was with Callie Torres. Identifying why was problematic, though her sensible brain gave it a shot. Was it her spanking new lesbianism that caused her to respond so physically to Callie, or the fact that they'd weathered their first serious fight, or perhaps some combination of both? Whatever it was, all Erica knew for sure was that she had never felt like this before, and the urge to act was impossible to resist. "Oh, Callie." Erica exhaled profoundly and stepped towards the younger woman. "Forgive me, but I'm about to break the 'no-touching' promise."

Callie wasted no time closing the distance between them, pairing her torrid gaze with a come-hither smile. "You," she whispered, entering the circle of Erica's arms, "are forgiven."

When their lips met, it was at once soft as silk and hot as fire, and neither woman was quite prepared for the sheer potency of these kisses. They were all-consuming and unlike anything either of the lovers had experienced with one another up to this point. Time stopped. Bodies pressed close, tongues engaged with ardor.

When they finally came up for air, it was a literal thing, with both women gasping to fill their lungs.

"Callie, what-what just happened?" Erica inhaled deeply and swayed against Callie. "Wait. I have to sit down."

Callie's language center was a little less accessible. "Yeah…"

Erica kept Callie in her arms as she moved awkwardly towards the couch, unwilling to let go of her long enough to make walking easier. Miraculously, they arrived at the couch without tripping over each other or the coffee table. Once seated, Erica slid away from Callie; or rather she pushed Callie away, which Callie couldn't help but notice.

"Hey, what? What's wrong?" Callie reached out and ran her fingertips along Erica's hairline, drawing back dampness. "You're sweating. Tell me."

Erica's only response was a trembling lower lip. She shook her head violently and looked away, blinking back tears.

Now Callie was visibly upset. "Erica, please! What's wrong? Don't cry. I can't make you cry again! What did I do?"

Erica held up a hand in a classic stop gesture, again shaking her head. "You didn't do anything, or you didn't do anything wrong. No, no, you did everything right. God, I…look at me! I'm forty-one years old, a cardiothoracic _genius_, for God's sake. I do _not_ cry!" Erica punctuated these remarks with a bark of derisive laughter, and then swiped her nose with the back of her hand. "Ew. I need a tissue."

Callie leaped up and ran for the tissues on the bookshelf, returning with the whole box. She pulled out two, handed them to Erica, and put the box on the coffee table. Cautiously, she resumed her seat next to Erica and waited while Erica dried her eyes and cleared her nasal passages.

Erica offered a weak smile, wadding up the tissues and tossing them onto the coffee table next to the box. "Sorry about that, Cal, but I'm exhausted and I've had a very hard day. I'm overreacting because I'm tired and I haven't eaten in I don't know how long. And I broke the 'no touching' promise right off the bat, which was bad."

Callie cocked her head and returned a small smile. "Yeah, well, I think we agreed on the 'no touching' thing, but I didn't exactly stop you, did I? Besides, it _has_ been a hell of a—"

But Erica cut her off, reaching out and taking Callie's hands in both of hers. "No, Callie, wait. We have to, er, no, _I_ have to...no, uh…Christ!" Erica rolled her eyes to the ceiling and then down to their hands. "Listen to me, would you? Calliope Torres, I swear, you tie up my tongue in more ways than one—"

"Nice poetry there."

"Excuse me?"

"'Tie up tongue, more ways than one'?"

Erica's courage emerged. "Shut up! I have something important I want to say." Erica successfully kept her voice steady and her eyes dry, noting how effective that was in capturing Callie's undivided attention.

"Okay. So say."

At Callie's rhyme, Erica was tempted to stall with another wisecrack about poetry. She had never said these words in this context to anyone in her entire life, and it was scaring her. Two seconds ago her courage reigned; now it had vanished. The tumble of emotions dumbfounded her. Was this lesbianism or just plain old love?

Meantime, Callie became fearful again. She reversed their hands' positions, surrounding Erica's slim fingers with her sturdier versions. "Erica? Would you talk! You're freaking me out here. And your hands are like ice!" Callie raised their hands and blew a hot breath on Erica's fingers.

The moment of unvarnished truth had arrived, and while Callie's breath blew warmth onto her cold hands and calm to her pounding heart, Erica took a breath and said it. "I love you."

Now it was Callie's turn to experience lungs suddenly void of air. Struggling for breath, she shook her head and managed, "Erica, no, I-I don't expect you to say you love me just because I said I loved you. I know it doesn't work that way, that _you_ don't work that way. We still have shit to work out, it's complicated, you said so yourself, right?"

Erica smiled, reversed their hands' positions again and brought Callie's to her lips, placing a kiss in the center of each palm. Looking up into Callie's obsidian eyes, she said, "Yes…yes, I did say that. But here's the thing. I _do _love you. And at the risk of sounding like a fairy tale, I believe the rest will come in time. Think you can live with that?"

Callie freed one hand to splay her fingers against Erica's cheek, an intimate gesture that was becoming familiar to both of them. Pulling Erica to her, Callie said simply, "Yep."

This time, their kisses were more about patience than passion, measured and unhurried. Carefully shifting positions on the couch, they ended up stretched out against one another, all the while exchanging tender kisses that barely caused their lips to part.

It was here, in a relaxed state between kisses, that exhaustion finally claimed them. They fell asleep, still fully clothed, tangled in each other's arms.

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End Chapter 3

**oOo oOo oOo**

_Now Love, bittersweet, limb-dissolving, irresistible  
Love makes me tremble once more._

-- Sappho, 630 B.C.


	4. Going Forward

Title: Unvarnished Truth – Chapter 4  
Author: DianeB  
Pairing: Hahn/Torres  
Rating: High M (for language and content)

Please see Chapter 1 for Summary, Author's Notes, and Disclaimer.

Special Chapter 4 Disclaimer: This chapter contains the naughty stuff and is pushing the envelope for posting on certain sites. DO **NOT** read it if you're underage, or if this sort of writing bothers you.

Special Chapter 4 Author's Notes: I'd be remiss if I didn't heap thanks upon Brenda S. (Mighty Editor Goddess), and to Jules68, for their help in keeping this particular chapter from sounding cheap and cheesy. That said, if you still find it cheap and cheesy, the fault is entirely my own.

This is also the _last_ chapter. As the dawn rises over Seattle, so also rises a new future for Callie and Erica, a future I will only write about if Brooke Smith returns to _Grey's_, which is to say, probably never.

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Erica rose to wakefulness as if rising from the ocean floor, coming to full consciousness cognizant of a number of things. One, she was fully dressed. Two, Callie was sound asleep beside her, also fully dressed. Three, they were on her couch. Four, it was some ungodly hour of the night. Five, she had to pee like a racehorse.

Gently shaking Callie, she hissed softly, "Callie, honey, wake up. I've got to go to the bathroom." When there was no response from Callie, not even a groan to indicate she had even felt Erica's shaking her, Erica tried again, this time with more force and volume. "Callie! Wake up!"

Callie stretched and yawned, but then clearly began to sink back to sleep.

Erica's bladder could wait no longer. She clambered from her position against the back of the couch over top of Callie, who responded this time with more gusto. "Hey! What the—"

"Cal, I'm sorry," Erica called back on her run to the bathroom, "but I gotta go!"

Toilette completed, Erica returned to the living room to find Callie sitting up, covered in a blanket (the very same blanket Erica had been throwing around hours earlier while on the phone with Callie). She also noticed Callie's clothes in a heap on the floor.

"Callie?" Erica pointed to the clothing.

"What?" Callie asked, feigning innocence. "I was uncomfortable and I don't have any other clothes here."

"Uh huh. Want a robe?"

Callie shook her head, smiled luridly, and patted the couch cushion beside her. "Know what I _do_ want?"

Even though they hadn't played it very much yet, Erica knew this game. Reaching for the top button of her blouse, she began to unbutton it, pulling it from her pants in the process. Finished unbuttoning, she unzipped the pants and let them drop to her ankles, leaving the shirt hanging open. Stepping out of the pants and bending towards Callie, she quipped, "Oh, I know _exactly_ what you want."

Callie submitted fully to Erica's advance, twisting to lie back on the couch and allowing the blanket to fall away. Erica couldn't resist the bounty of Callie's chest, lifting one ample breast and taking the nipple into her mouth, pleased to feel it harden beneath her tongue. Callie's accompanying moan pleased her further, and Erica could feel the result of that pleasure dampen her panties. Lifting her head, she matched Callie's moan. "Jesus, Cal, you make me crazy."

Callie mumbled something unintelligible and raised her thigh to fit it snugly in Erica's crotch. Erica covered Callie's body and mouth, riding Callie's thigh, and using her fingernails to scratch and tease one of Callie's erect nipples.

A moment later, Erica felt Callie pull awkwardly at the edge of her panties, clearly wanting Erica to be rid of them. Reluctantly breaking the kiss, Erica said, "Okay, wait. Wait a minute," and reached down to peel them off, casting them to the floor. "Better?"

"Much."

Without giving Erica a chance to get settled again, Callie reached down and drew her middle finger through Erica's abundant wetness, provoking a jerk and a startled gasp. "Ah! Ohmygod. D-do that again!"

Callie happily complied. And complied a few more times, without even being asked.

"That feels _wonderful_. Don't stop, Cal. Don't _ever_ stop." Erica was content to have Callie stroke her in this fashion until the dawn, but after a few minutes, it became clear that Callie was hoping to produce more in Erica than just a wonderful feeling. Callie quickened her pace and between kisses began sultry talk.

"Erica…Erica, God, you are so fucking _hot_. That feels good, doesn't it? Mmm…yes, it _does_ feel good, so soft and warm…and so damn _wet_. But you know what, my beautiful lover? I want it to feel _better_." On the word _better_, Callie slipped her middle finger inside Erica and stirred, using her thumb to swirl lightly around the slippery bundle of nerves standing erect at the entrance to this most private place.

Erica could feel herself nearing orgasm, but didn't want it to happen so quickly, though her body was gamely trying to argue the point. Forcing words past an insistent desire to let go, she growled, "Stop, Cal! Stopstopstop," and wondered if Callie would actually listen to her before it was too late.

To her surprise, Callie immediately obeyed, but not without voicing her displeasure. "Aw, what's wrong? Don't you wanna come?"

As her body simmered down, Erica was able to form a comprehensible answer. "Of course I do. Just not yet."

"But why not? It's not like it'd be the only one. I _know_ there are more comes in you."

"Callie," Erica started, wanting to explain what she had been too nervous to explain during their previous lovemaking sessions, "what you were doing before made my whole body tingle, and that only happens before my first orgasm. I _like_ the tingle; I want it to last as long as possible, but it takes patience and a slow hand."

"Oh, okay. I didn't know that." And with that, Callie arrived full circle. "I didn't know that, bee…cause instead of asking_ you_, I asked Mark – and how the hell would _he_ know? Shit. Right. God, I'm an idiot."

"All right, Cal, you can stop beating yourself up about it. It's partly my fault, too, because I never offered the information. But we're good now, and that's all that matters, okay?"

"Okay." Callie sighed deeply and switched gears. "I'm…um…can I go back…can I go back to what I was—"

Erica smiled, suffused with love for this sweet, childlike woman. "Touch me, Callie. Slow hand. Patience." Callie complied to perfection, and it wasn't long before the luscious tingle returned. "Mmm…that's it." At Callie's continued ministrations, Erica began to have trouble accessing speech, but she had one more thing to say before she surrendered to her body. "I'll…tell you…when…I'm ready."

"Okay," Callie said, but again expressed mock displeasure. "But tell me soon. Because, you know, as a surgeon, it really isn't good for my wrist to—"

Erica hushed her with a kiss and began to move against Callie's fingers. Callie was a very good girl; she kept to her slow and patient task. Erica luxuriated in the feeling for as long as she could before breaking a kiss to look at Callie. This was the only signal Callie needed.

As Callie's finger slipped in and began to move inside her, Erica immediately felt inner muscles contract around it. When Callie pressed the pad of her thumb gently against Erica's hypersensitized clitoris, there was nothing more to wait for. Tearing her lips from Callie's, Erica arched her back and moaned, as the orgasm took her in a mind-numbing wave of sensation.

**oOo oOo oOo**

As her surroundings slowly came back into focus, Erica felt Callie shifting beneath her. "Erica? Now it's my turn for the potty." Erica rolled against the back of the couch to give Callie room to get up, and it was then Erica realized she had never removed her shirt and bra. She was amused for a second at how absurd sex could sometimes be.

In the second following that, as Erica absently listened to the toilet flush and the water run in the sink, a curious hunger ascended in her that had nothing to do with food. When Callie got back to the living room, Erica suggested they remove themselves to the bedroom, and Callie agreed. Erica divested herself of the shirt and bra along the way.

Climbing into bed, Erica arranged herself once again atop Callie.

"Hey, what's with you, always on top? Is that a lesbian thing?"

"Oh, funny. No, I don't think it's a lesbian thing, but it might be an _Erica _thing. You all right with that?"

Callie pretended to think about it before responding, "For tonight, I guess."

Erica smiled. "Tonight will do. There's something I'd like to try, and I ought to be on top to try it." As she spoke, she began to move down Callie's body, stopping to place kisses on each breast and then further down to swirl her tongue in Callie's navel. By this time, of course, Callie knew what Erica had in mind.

"Erica, hold on. You don't have to do this, you know."

Erica lifted her head. "I know. I _want_ to."

Callie's voice took on some of its earlier fearfulness. "But-but, are you sure? I mean, we haven't…er, there are no _instructions _for two girls, are there? How can you be sure you're doing it right?"

Something occurred to Erica. "Cal, would you rather I didn't? As I said, I _want_ to, but I don't have to. Certainly not if you don't want me to." Erica sat up on her knees and waited.

"I-I want you to. But…I've only had a couple guys go down on me, _ever_. I don't think guys like it very much. Oh, they _love_ blowjobs, but they're not much on returning the favor. But since I've never had a female lover before, I don't know, I guess I haven't really thought about it. How do _you_ feel? You're not just doing it because you think you're _supposed_ to, are you? I mean, there must be lesbians out there who don't—"

"Callie, for heaven's sake, we could go around and around the rest of the night about this. I told you, I want to do this. I want to please you this way. I can't say whether it's a 'lesbian thing,' or whether it's because it's you, or it's both of those things, or something else entirely. I just know I want to. As for 'doing it right,' can you just let me _start_? If something doesn't feel good, all you have to do is say so. Okay?"

Erica watched as Callie's face went through a series of emotions that landed finally on a decidedly wicked grin. "Well, okay then. As it says in _Alice in Wonderland_, 'eat me.'"

"_Callie!_" Erica exclaimed, delivering a light slap to Callie's thigh. "I can _not_ believe you just said that! That story's never gonna be the same for me! Shame on you!"

Callie, unfazed (and perhaps inspired) by Erica's scolding, dropped her eyelids to half-mast, wet her lips and mouthed _eat me_. The raw look of it sent icy-hot chills down Erica's spine. Struggling to maintain some sense of the moment and what she was about to do, Erica patted Callie's stomach and whispered, "Okay then." Shifting positions so she was kneeling between Callie's legs, Erica bent her head over Callie's triangle of black curls and blew softly.

Callie responded with a primal groan that sent another round of chills down Erica's back. Gently, Erica parted the damp curls to gaze at the floral workings of Callie's womanhood. "Callie, you're gorgeous here, too." As Erica watched, Callie's color changed from dusty pink to ruby red, as blood filled the intimate area. Saliva filled her mouth and Erica could wait no longer. Leaning forward, Erica ran her tongue into the glistening folds and was immediately rewarded with a moaning exhale from Callie.

"Oh…_that _feels good. C-can you keep doing that?"

For an answer, Erica repeated the action several more times. Callie responded each time with unrecognizable sounds of pleasure. To Erica, Callie tasted of brine and honey, though her sensible brain knew the honey part could exist only in her own mind. Erica moved her lips to the tight bud above Callie's entrance and took it fully into her mouth, actively tonguing it, but careful to keep her teeth away. Callie's hips left the mattress at this oral caress, and Erica, fearful of hurting her, sat back.

Callie was immediately apologetic. "Sorry, sorry. But that felt so good, I couldn't stay still. Keep doing that, would you? No, wait. Can you…would you…okay, for the record, this is not easy to say out loud…but…could you, you know…put your finger in me and your…your mouth where it just was?" Callie covered her face with one hand. "Wow, okay. That was weird."

Erica, smiling at Callie's antics, took the moment to reposition herself on the bed, bringing Callie's legs over her shoulders, where they bent at the knee so perfectly it was like the two of them were meant to fit together this way. Facing Callie's warm wet mound, the ache between Erica's own legs became an exquisite mix of pleasure and pain. "Callie, my love," she purred, anxious to continue, "I don't think you need to talk anymore."

Lowering her head again, Erica covered Callie's clit with her mouth, savoring the little bud's saltiness and noticing Callie losing the battle to keep her hips from moving. No longer worried about hurting Callie, Erica tried some different uses of her tongue over the entire area, and was glad when Callie again began to vocalize her ecstasy.

Slowly, Erica eased first one finger and then another into Callie, stirring as Callie had done to her. Callie's vocalizations changed suddenly to subdued hisses and her hips went utterly still. Erica knew Callie was close, and Callie confirmed it with a breathless plea.

"Faster, oh, please, _faster."_

Erica could feel herself getting wetter – as if such a thing were possible – and one more thing fell into place for her. Callie had mentioned blowjobs. Erica recalled how much she _hated_ blowing guys. But this, _this_ was something else entirely. Erica knew without doubt that she _adored_ this.

Sidetracked by her thoughts, Erica returned her mouth's full attention to Callie's swollen nub, while her fingers continued their internal stirring, mindful of going too fast, even though Callie kept begging her to speed up. She didn't want Callie to climax yet, even if Callie did, so she raised her head and issued a stern warning, using her best doctor voice. "Stop your talking this instant, Calliope." Callie immediately fell to whimpering, and Erica was both pleased and excited that Callie would so willingly do as she asked.

In spite of Erica's best effort, it wasn't long before Callie's body reached the point of no return, no matter the tempo, and Erica could feel the contractions that signaled the start of Callie's orgasm. Erica, testing another idea, began to flick her tongue over Callie's clit, and immediately Callie began to pant, rocking against Erica's face, and then Callie spoke again, this time a hissing, one-word expression of fulfillment. "Yesss….!" Seconds later Erica's face was covered with the warm, sticky product of Callie's magnificent release.

As Callie's spasms subsided, Erica crawled up the bed to drop into Callie's open arms, bringing her head up for a kiss.

"Is that what I taste like?" Callie asked in a voice thick with sleep.

Erica, herself heavy with sleep, murmured, "Like honey."

Callie kissed her again and whispered, "Sweet."

Erica fell asleep smiling against Callie's lips.

**oOo oOo oOo**

This was how the morning light found them. Asleep mid-kiss in each other's arms, bedsheets in a knot at their feet.

**oOo oOo oOo**

As well it should, the future shimmered with hope (and not a little trepidation) at the prospect of these two women going forward together as a couple.

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The Very End.

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_There's only ONE thing TWO do THREE words FOUR you:__  
I love you._

-- Plain White T's, from the song, "1, 2, 3, 4"

**oOo oOo oOo**

_You can turn the clock to zero, honey,  
I'll sell the stock, we'll spend all the money.  
We're starting up a brand new day._

-- Sting, from the song, "Brand New Day"


End file.
